The Fratdog Sports Blog

Riley Skinner Smokes Noles Poles

2008-02-04T21:52:00.000-05:00

I am extremely uncomfortable reporting this.

Fair warning - this is very, very, legitimately gay. Riley Skinner has apparently taken a nude picture of himself or Jim Grobe has has this picture under his pillow since 2005. No joke, that link will ruin your fucking day. We are unbelieveably rattled over here.

Igor Olshansky < Intelligent

2008-01-16T20:16:00.000-05:00

You can't spell ignorant without Igor. I am largely unfamiliar with this cro-magnon except for his infamous penalty against the Broncos, but we're really glad the clip only lasts fifteen seconds. With Rivers and Tomlinson banged up - Igor will likely 'know what's up' by about minute 6. Enjoy

Fratdog Sportsblog to Return beginning January 4th!

2007-12-25T14:42:00.000-05:00

Happy festivus everyone. FDSB is happy to report that we have revamped the staff and will begin regular postings again on Friday, January 4th 2008. Shoot us an email with any tips or suggestions.

Actually, F*ck it. I'll take 20 grand on the Spurs

2007-10-25T21:18:00.000-04:00

David Stern, you have got to be kidding me. The NBA has just announced that it will allow gambling among NBA referees.

"Everyone violated the rule in some way, whether it was playing poker, buying lottery tickets & but I don't consider it a violation of the rules to buy a lottery ticket or play golf for $5," Stern said.
"About half had gone to casinos over a period of years with no great frequency. No sports books. No bookmakers," Stern said, adding that enforcement of the gambling rule was so lax that referees traditionally held a large poker tournament at their annual meeting.

This explains a lot. It shows that the NBA will now leave some room for interpretation when it comes to breaking the law. It explains that referees making $300,000+ a year are inspired by a $5 bet during a round of golf, and it explains why Tim Donaghy was sucking fellow referee Joey Crawford's dick after the friendly annual poker tournament.

Bostoned out of my gord

2007-10-25T20:48:00.000-04:00

I know that I am not the only person that has two televisions in my living room. And I also know that any person in their right mind (a man) with two televisions is watching Boston College/Virginia Tech on the low def screen and has the Series on HD. In all honesty I've been so mesmerised watching the rain water cascade off of Frank Beamer's ~~3rd ass cheek~~ skin graft; I have neglected the series a bit.

As predicted -- Boston College and Virginia Tech are absolutely not top 10 teams. BC is good for a fumble every other play, and VT just botched a snap of their own. The game's only points (as of yet) came on a play that had no business being called a touchdown. The linesman had to ask the back judge for the call. Neither one had shit for an idea of what had happened - so they logically called it a score. In a situation like this, you should always make the safe call of incomplete and let the replay determine whether or not the scoreboard should change.

Another bright spot for Bostoners, Jason Varitek is aging well. He's 35 years old and lists Dave Matthews Band and Bare Naked Ladies as his favorite bands. Looks like his teammates finally broke him down after his Hanson stage in the '04 Series.

What do you think coach... Dawson or Danza?

2007-10-24T19:11:00.001-04:00

John Fox is faced with a difficult decision this weekend. With Jake Delhomme out for the season, Fox will choose between his backups for this weekend's Colts/Panthers matchup in Charlotte. The candidates both have extensive resumes;

David Carr - Dawson's Creek extra / worst #1 pick of all time. Leads the league in times sacked and has a serious tendency to run towards the incorrect goal line when pressured.

Positives -- Quick, agile. Irregular throwing motion can avoid batted balls.
Negatives -- Scared as shit in the pocket. Tendency to go colorblind and deliver the rock to opposing linebackers.

Vinny Testaverde - Tony Danza impersonator / certified old balls. Leads the league in gray hair and lives in a Residence Inn.

Positives -- Poised, experienced. Has been in this situation enough times to give the Panthers the best chance to win
Negatives -- Testaverde actually is colorblind. There is nothing cool about going on the IR with a broken hip either.

While it looks like Fox will take Carr - we think Testaverde gives Carolina the best shot.

Bro-hemian Rapsodhy

2007-10-24T18:36:00.000-04:00

I generally dislike posting non-sports content, and I certainly dislike collegehumor.com, but this shit is hilarious. http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1781938

Watch game 1 twice, and still be entertained

2007-10-24T18:23:00.000-04:00

Not many things go better with the World Series than a cold beer. But something can even make that better -- fourteen more beers. FDSB presents it's World Series game 1 drinking game.

Drink 5 seconds every time:

You mispronounce Tulowitzki
Josh Beckett throws a ball
David Ortiz smiles

Drink 10 seconds every time:

They zoom in on Beckett's flavor saver
David Ortiz does not smile
You think -- ''Dustin Pedroia is pretty good considering I could probably whoop his ass" (see inset picture)

Drink a full beer when:

Terry Francona changes his chaw
There is a Ryan Klesko reference
They discuss the Red Sox most recent series as 'historic'

Again, we are really looking forward to this series.

Sox full of pennies

2007-10-23T22:07:00.000-04:00

If you're looking to improve the return on the ~~money~~ bragging rights you earned on Monday Night Money -- our entertainment experts have spoken again:

Fall is in the air. That means football, not sweating your ass off daily on the way to work, and for us baseball lovers -- The World Series. This is really an intriguing matchup. A veteran squad against a very young team; and it could end up being very exciting. This will not be the case in Game 1. Josh Beckett has been the year's best pitcher and the Red Sox have been here before. This plays well with the awe and intimidation a young player can feel on the game's biggest stage. Clint Barmes was so overwhelmed by the World Series atmosphere at Fenway, he took a seat in row CC to soak it all in.

Beckett could very easily throw five or six shut out innings before the star-struck Rockies begin to snap out of the hype and pageantry associated with the Series. Forget the interleague record and the 20-5 total over three games, there is easy money here. Put your fake dollars on the home team.

Verdict: Take the Red Sox at -210. $$$

New York -- It turned blue!

2007-10-23T19:09:00.000-04:00

Rudy Giuilani just lost millions of chads (both kinds). While dining at a Massachusetts restaurant, Giuliani was asked who he was rooting for in the World Series. His response will be heralded on the level of Watergate and cigar-blasting interns.

"I'm rooting for the Red Sox," the Republican presidential contender said. I'm an American League fan, and I go with the American League team, maybe with the exception of the Mets," he said. "Maybe that would be the one time I wouldn't because I'm loyal to New York."

This statement establishes three things:

Giuliani is borderline retarded
Giuliani has no spine
Our next president may not own a penis

If that's not enough, he also doesn't care about votes in Colorado.

"In Colorado, in the next week or two, you will see, I will have the courage
to tell the people of Colorado the same thing, that I am rooting for the Red
Sox in the World Series," he said.

Fratdog attempted to reach Mitt Romney for comment on who he was pulling for but got no response. We're betting he'll take the ~~polygamous~~ safe route and pull for both.

There are no black players in college football

2007-10-22T23:10:00.001-04:00

Nerjyzed Entertainment has announced the upcoming release of a college football video game entitled "BCFX."

"We are going to immerse the user in things that make black college football different."

Black College Football eXperience aims to '"...introduce people to what really happens at a black college football game." That's right, it's a college football game with black players. While there may be quality football in an SEC, Big Ten or Pac Ten setting -- don't expect to see any black players on that racist ass EA Sports NCAA Football. "We're not just talking about football, we're talking about the football experience... The halftime show, the fifth quarter." An extra quarter? Sounds more like an Amish league to me.

Donal Ware will be the game's version of John Madden according to the Raleigh News and Observer. Well kind of like Madden, but coherent and a bit more athletic. Brian Jackson, a Howard graduate, is the game's creative designer. "This game isn't just for the black community, it's to introduce people to what really happens at a black college football game. You'll actually hear music throughout the game; the music is what gets the crowd hyped." Players can control their bands and dancers as well.

Outraged caucasians have retalliated with a single race sports platform of their own: NHL '08.

Eric Ainge must be killing it!

2007-10-22T19:05:00.000-04:00

Just ran across this picture of Tennessee backup quarterback Jonathan Crompton and this specimen. At a school as big as Tennessee, I guess you can even get some tail when you're the worse of two mediocre quarterbacks. These jugs are fake enough to make the Easter Bunny chuckle... and to make me remain seated for the next 15 minutes.

Yo bartender, Jobu needs a refill.

2007-10-22T18:21:00.000-04:00

Looks like it's back to the Trail of Tears for the Cleveland Indians.

It looked as though the Indians were poised to win the pennant until the curse of Kenny Lofton rose again in the 7th inning. Dustin Pedroia sent an 0-1 pitch towards Virgiflagacalimento and the wheels proceeded to come off from there.

Pedroia would add a 3 run double in the 8th as the Red Sox punched their ticket to the series with an 11-2 final.

Monday Night Money

2007-10-22T18:04:00.000-04:00

While we do not condone or support gambling in any way -- we do understand that it is awesome. Monday nights you will be supplied with a section we call "Monday Night Money," which is purely for entertainment. We will make our choice in the Monday night game as to where the smartest money goes between your four major food groups (the favorite, the underdog, the over, the under). This pick will be rated between
$ and $$$$, depending on how strontly our team of ~~gambling~~ recreational experts feels about the outcome. This week:

Monday Night Money: Indianapolis (-3). This is always a tough matchup to predict. The Colts have been a dominant force of recent years but have inexplicably struggled against fellow AFC South squads. Whether it be the Titans, Texans, or Jaguars -- Indy has had a difficult time dealing with conference opponents. The over is 45, which is pretty well placed. These games always seem to be in the 24-17 up to the 28-21 range for final scores. This being said, the Colts normally come out on top. With a spread of 3, you are best off taking the Colts.

Verdict: Indy - $$

Tommy Tuberville is missing a chromosome.

2007-10-21T23:00:00.000-04:00

Auburn is an enigma. Their offense is miserable, their defense is impenetrable, Brad Lester may be illiterate. Saturday night, Tommy Tuberville furthered his pursuit of unemployment with his coaching decisions in the closing stages of the game. With 3:21 remaining in the game 92,000 purple-clad seemed prepared to geaux home stunned. Apparently Tuberville would not stand for that; calling a kickoff that would leave LSU on their own 42 yard line. LSU methodically drove the field, putting themselves in position for a game winning kick. Tuberville let the clock bleed as he sat on his timeouts. Les Miles opted to take a shot at the endzone and with 00:00.1 remaining on the clock, Demitrius Byrd secured the win for LSU.